There are two principles upon which all of creation runs.
One is the principle of relationship; the other is the principle of authority.
Wherever we go in creation we will find these two principles working together. Indeed, one will never be found without the other. We can examine the heavens, the sciences, nature, geology, mathematics, light or whatever, and they remain present. The principles of relationship and authority are as necessary and unchanging as laws such as gravity, aerodynamics, cause and effect, and so on.
Let’s look at these two principles or laws from a human perspective.
Relationship: You cannot live alone. There will always be someone or something with whom (or which) you must get along.
Authority: You cannot act alone. There will always be someone or something to whom (or which) you must submit.
Relationship:
We cannot avoid relationships. Every meeting we attend, every phone call we make, every street we walk, every shop we enter forces us to ‘get on’ with someone to a greater or lesser extent.
Tension in relationships is OK!
Provided it is the right sort of course.
The human body has muscles all over the place. Did you know that a muscle can only pull, it cannot push? Therefore there has to always be two sets of muscles opposite each other. When one pulls, the other must yield. If both pull at the same time absolutely nothing productive happens! More than this though, opposing muscles have to operate in some degree of continuous tension just to maintain balance within the human body.
In relationships, we so often see tension as undesirable, but we need to realise that the right sort of tension is good for us. In the physical body it is called muscle tone. To be relationally healthy we still need ‘muscle tone’. We need to accept, for example, that different opinions are not necessarily bad, they’re just different!
Well, what does the Bible say about how to enjoy good relationships? Let’s explore some wisdom from the Bible book of Ephesians.
We should be humble and gentle. Ephesians 4:2
That’s a sensible start isn’t it? Pride and harshness are so destructive.
We should be patient with each other. Ephesians 4:2
It is interesting, is it not, how we want God to give us all the time in the world, but we want everyone else fixed up yesterday!
We should make allowance for each other’s faults. Ephesians 4:2
Allowing others the freedom to make mistakes is a precious gift.
We should always seek to live in peace. Ephesians 4:3
The word ‘bond’ in this Bible reference means ‘tied together’. If we are handcuffed to our partner or friend, and start a fight, we’re likely to hurt ourselves! Who wants to do that?
We should speak truth. Ephesians 4:15
One version of the Bible calls deception ‘an assault’. Lies abuse trust.
We should concentrate on fixing ourselves, not the other person! Ephesians 4:16
Here we look inward. Concentrating on getting ourselves fixed up is far more profitable than ever trying to fix everyone else.
We should live a life filled with love. Ephesians 5:2
Whether or not any relationship is successful is irrelevant according to this verse of Scripture. We are required of God to love. The Bible teaches that we should love our wives/husbands, love our neighbours and love our enemies, so there is no escape from this requirement.
We should not be sexual immoral, impure, or greedy. Ephesians 5:3
There’s nothing like an ‘affair’ to wreck a relationship!
We shouldn’t be into dirty talk, foul language, or crude jokes. Ephesians 5:4
There’s something degrading and unsettling about this sort of behaviour. If others never know what we’re going to say next it makes for very uneasy conversations.
We shouldn’t be idiots! Ephesians 5:15
Foolish and careless actions can cause so much damage.
We shouldn’t be boozers. Ephesians 5:18
Out-of-control people cause so much emotional and physical abuse to the innocent.
We should sing a lot! Ephesians 5:19
Have you ever tried to sing and be angry at the same time? It’s pretty well impossible.
We shouldn’t be dominators or controllers. Ephesians 5:21
Nobody enjoys that sort of person.
So what about it?
Do you want to get on better with others? Of course you do!
It would be a strange person indeed who says no to that.
(Please remember to read part 2 of this paper)
This paper seeks to accurately represent the teachings of Holy Scriptures. You are free to copy or alter all or any part of this paper PROVIDED that the Holy Scriptures are not misrepresented as a result.
